In the case of Fancy, you ARE the sister...mother...sister-mother....sistah-mama. How did that happen? The definition of a sistah-mama or sibling-parent is when you have siblings that are young enough to be your children. So either, you were a mistake early on in your parent's lives OR your siblings were a mistake late in your parent's lives. Either way, you're stuck with one another, so you've just gotta deal with it. When the spread in age difference is greater than 5 years, the older sibling takes on a more protective role than stair step siblings who develop sibling rivalry. When the age difference is greater than 10 years, the older siblings becomes a pseudo parent.
|Their 8th grade graduation|
My younger siblings are 13 years my junior. Not quite young enough to be my children but, if we want to get technical, they are. LOL! Having lived practically as an only child for 13 years, I was super excited when my mother told me she was pregnant.....with TWINS!!! They arrived and I instantly fell in love. They were so cute and cuddly and sweet. I changed diapers, made bottles, gave baths, helped with potty training, braided hair and kept them safe. As they grew up and I became an adult, I played a role in disciplining them and handling typical teenage girl growing pains. They are now "adults" but in my eyes, they are like my children. I am proud of them and the influence I had on their successes.
|High School Graduation|
As a sibling-parent, we can be confident that they are getting good, sound advice from an adult that has their best interest in mind. Most teenagers and young adults turn to each for advice because:
1. They don't feel comfortable talking to their parents.
2. They are scared their parents are going to be upset.
3. They just don't know any better.
Lawd knows the things my friends and I talked about when we were teenagers. Let's just say....Jehovah protects children and fools. In some cases, the word "fool" can be interchangeable with dumb teenagers. I digress. As we mature, we realize that our parents were right and they want the best for us but as kids and teenagers, we think our parents don't know anything. We usually end up learning the hard way that they were right all along. LOL!
|Went to A&T's Homecoming with them|
My parents had it made. They had an extra enforcer within their circle of trust. They knew my sisters would listen to me. They could trust that after I have "Olivia Pope'd" the twins, everything is alright. Grades slipping, it's handled. Boy drama, it's handled. Girl drama, it's handled. Explaining why you can't have your booty out at a rap concert, it's handled. My sisters knew they had it made. They had an adult ally who could come to their defense when our parents didn't understand. Because, let's face it, sometimes parents don't get that middle school kids with cell phones text and we need to have more than 200 text messages to our family plan. Parents need to hear from another adult why it is absolutely necessary that a high school student cannot have a South Pole jacket. It must be North Face and it will never go on sale so they might as well buy it now.
|Their 21st Birthday|
Having played this "sistah mama" role in their lives is one of the reason my husband and I hesitate to have children ourselves. Experiencing first hand how difficult raising children is. When they're young, it's physically draining. As they get older, it's mentally challenging, trying to make sure they make good life decisions when you aren't around. Not to mention.....they're still in our pockets, even as grown women. Asking for stuff. Us doing stuff for them. They do not care about our bank accounts
and, quite honestly, we don't mind giving to them because they are AWESOME and are growing into phenomenal women.
I'm sure my girls will make great aunties or auntie mama's one day. Cuz I've put off having kids way too long to have big gaps in between them. What a relief it will be to know that my wisdom is being passed on through my sister's and finally letting them "handle it."