Stop Being a "Punk A$$ Chauncey": Hair Edition

One time I went out and my twist out was super popping!

One of the most "interesting" comments I hear from women of color when they compliment my hair is that "I wish I could go natural". GURL! Whet?!?! A loooooong string of questions pop in to my head. Why can't you? What's stopping you? What's wrong with wearing your hair in the texture that it grows out of your head? But I always smile and say "Awwww! You CAN!" When I hear women say things like this it makes me sad. Sad that people think that they are not going to be accepted for being who they are. Sad people don't want to wear their hair the way Jehovah made it. Sad that they accept the European standard of beauty when they are descendants of Africa. Sad that they would prefer to subject their body to harsh chemicals, chemical burns, heat burns, tension alopecia and everything else that comes along with not letting your hair just "be". Sad that they think their hair is nappy (in a negative way) and unmanageable in it's natural state. I want to scream STOP THIS!!!!! But I've been in therapy for about 5 years now and I am learning to be empathetic. I know that a drastic change in appearance takes a lot of mental preparation.

As a nerd, I gather data. About 85% of the natural consults I have are with women who want to wear textured styles but are scared of how their hair will turn out, wanting their hair to look like something they saw on the internet instead of figuring out what's best for their hair. I end up doing "hair counseling" instead of consulting. I am so happy that they are taking the first step. Even happier to help them. And elated when they report their hair "breakthroughs" to me.

Me, at work, with crazy hair but still working.

Your hair is your hair. My hair is my hair. I have about 4 different textures of hair in my head. My hair tends to dry out. My hair flops forward into my face no matter how I style it. I stopped trying to do bantu knots, they just don't work for me. A lot of product in my hair ruins the style. I never used edge control, just Fancy Free products, a brush and a scarf. These are things I've learned about my hair over the past 7 years of not having relaxer. I have my hair routine down to a science. I rarely deviate from it because I've learned many a tough lesson.

My point is, Jehovah has designed everyone with intention and intrinsic beauty. Flaws and all, you are beautiful with short hair, long hair, straight hair, tightly coiled hair, etc. In 2017, if you are denied a job or an opportunity because of the way your hair is styled then maybe that thing you thought you wanted isn't for you. I just wouldn't encourage someone to go after that something that requires they look like something they aren't. In mind, they're gonna take whatever hairstyle you walk in there with and deal with it. You'd be surprised how complimentary people are of your natural styles. I've found that most have, what I call, "volume envy". They wish that they too could have big hair or switch their hairstyles up the way we can.

To anyone considering the transition to natural hair, my advice is to just do it. There is no time like the present. Think long, think wrong.

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