The Fancy Wife Life
Prior to being married, I was accustomed to a certain lifestyle, the Fancy life, that I financed on my own. So my husband did not upgrade my life. I been on. LOL! In fact, my Fancy life is one of the things that he was attracted to. There was a time when I worked 4 jobs. Yes, FOUR. Not because I needed to but because I had spare time, was good at somethings and a few people wanted to pay me to do them.
1. My career/what I went to school to do, Medical Laboratory Science aka hospital laboratory.
2. Natural hairstylist in my girlfriend's salon
3. Staff hairstylist for The Wire Season 4
4. Church Musician
I did all of this, while being in graduate school full time.
How can being married to an awesome guy have anything negative associated with it? It's simple, while we have built things together, he gets the credit for the fruits of all of things that I have worked hard for on my own.....just because of what society perceives as prestige with certain professions. That is a major buzz kill. I buy a new car. I pay for the car but people ask him how he likes HIS new car. I'm up at the crack of dawn and till the wee hours of the morning working on our home based business while he sleeps and people refer all inquiries about our team to him. So, I am in a constant battle with my pride and ego when it comes to my role as a wife. I often find myself swallowing my pride in order to be obedient to Jehovah as a submissive wife. I know my husband has our family's best interest in mind, so I have no problems letting him lead me. He is awesome when it comes to giving me credit. I appreciate him for that. We make a great team. Everything I do, I do better with him. However, a small piece of me dies every time some one refers to me as "the doctor's wife", I'm just being honest.
I get it. The portrayal of beautiful women of color in the media is that we are gold diggers or some loud mouthed, attitudinal angry person. It is implied that we are after the successful man so that we can have his babies and spend all of his cash while he is busy building the empire....alone. That is not the case, not if you're living the Fancy life. I was building my own empire prior to him. My parents raised me to be awesome. They did not raise me to chase a man or that my ultimate goal should be to become a wife. My parents taught me that I would attract what I become. My husband and I have been able to multiply what we brought to the table as individuals, but we do that together. He is a visionary but I am the executor. What is vision without action? A dream. Point. Blank. Period. I mean, really, would Jay-Z have risen to the stature of the mogul he is today without Beyonce? They were successful on their own but when he became associated with her, a different dynamic of the business world opened up to him just from the association. I'll leave that there.
I have NO problems with being submissive and supportive, even when I do not agree. When he says move left. I move left. He is my husband and the head of our household. But I am NOT just the "doctor's wife". I am Iyonna. A boss. I am married to that guy, whom I love very much. I would've married him if he was an engineer, politician or computer geek. He just happens to be a doctor. But this here Fancy life BEEN fancy.....way before we were an item. I contribute just as much as he does. I motivate him to be better. He keeps me focused when I'm falling off of my grind. Being a wife is not easy. It takes balance, grace and lots of fake smiles and pleasantries when you really want to scream. Cooking, cleaning.....or at least knowing who to hire when you need those things done. Handling business. Staying fly. All while making sure your husband feels desired, needed and appreciated. This Fancy wife life ain't for the faint of heart but it's worth it...even when you don't always get credit.
Until next time, continue enjoying your Fancy life even when you don't get the acknowledgement you should.
Click HERE to learn more about the opportunity that allows me to contribute just as much as my husband.