People are different. Different ways of thinking make the world a great place to live. How boring would life be if everyone were the same? The way we think dictates the way we live our lives and the things we create. A group of people can have a common goal but each person in the group may think of a very different plan to reach that same goal. When every plan or idea is not up for consideration, we find conflict in the group. Conflict can completely stall a project if the parties involved cannot resolve it. Here are some things to consider when trying to resolve a conflict in any kind of relationship.
1. Want to resolve the issue.
If you go into a situation looking for a solution, you will find one. Don't be so dead set on defending your own interests that you forget about the common goal. Your mindset will decide the outcome.
2. Listen to understand, not to respond.
Innately, we have our own interests in mind and easily get defensive when we feel someone is attacking our point of view. It is important to listen to what someone is really saying and try to understand them. If you find yourself thinking of your next point while someone is explaining themselves, take a step back. Process what they have said before you respond. You are probably in defense mode. We were given two ears and one mouth so that we can listen more than we talk.
3. There are different ways to arrive at the same answer.
Just because you have carefully plotted out your plan of attack does not mean that someone else's carefully plotted out plan is not as effective. Keep in mind that someone else's way can work just as well as your way. Knowing this can help you be more open to finding creative solutions. If it works, it works. Be open to trying something different.
4. It's not always about you.
If you find yourself in a space where you feel you cannot resolve the conflict, take a step back and look at the big picture. If someone appears unreasonable, it is very likely that they are lashing out about something else that has nothing to do with the situation you are trying to resolve. Sometimes people deflect their personal issues on to people close to them. Home issues can manifest at work. Conflict at work can turn into an argument at home. Sometimes we deflect and don't even realize it. If you find yourself unable to compromise or unwilling to understand, you could be deflecting. If someone is unwilling to listen and work with you to find a solution for a common goal, do not take it personal, it's probably because of something else totally unrelated and you're just getting the short end of the stick. Take a break and revisit the issue later.
There is no problem too big that cannot be resolved. There are few things that must happen to resolve conflict. All parties must make up their minds that they want to find a resolution. Realize that there is more than one way to reach the same goal. Listen to everyone to understand their point of view. Don't take it personal when someone does not have a favorable response to your ideas, it could have nothing to do with you.
Fancy Free, LLC finds great joy in helping people reach their financial and personal goals in all areas of life. Call us at (410) 929-0302 to schedule your complimentary consultation.