Your Body Is Trying To Tell You Something
Am I stress eating a lot of junk?
Am I tossing and turning at night?
Am I gaining weight?
Am I productive or walking in circles?
I pays attention to how I'm feeling and what I'm doing.
November and December 2021 added a new dynamic to my stress because we started renovating our larger Fancy Factory space. It's been a beautiful mess. Coming together nicely but uncovering more repairs than we anticipated. Driving the cost up and taking more time to complete. I've had this project in the works since March 2021, to put things into perspective. The cost...well. I really don't want to talk about it. I had a substantial budget to cover the project that included a 30% overage for incidentals. This project has cost double what I budgeted INCLUDING the overage allowance.
Regular mompreneur stress then BOOM!! COVID hit our household on December 1, 2021, right at the height of my busy season. Both kids home with me. Husband is home but working from home during the entire quarantine. So...the kids are on me. Then BOOM! It's winter break. Kids home with me. Oh wait! Extend the break for another week because this new variant of COVID is kicking tail and everyone needs to be tested.
FIVE weeks of kids being home with me over a 6 week period. Lots of fun but work related productivity slowed to a trickle. I'm asking my husband for a reprieve, some extra assistance with kids and other household duties. Like, beyond what he normally does because he is a major team player. We come to an agreement and then my father-in-laws' health takes a sharp decline, requiring my husband to spend more time looking after his parents. That's when the unexpected happened....my father-in-law passed away. He went in for emergency surgery January 13, 2022 and didn't survive. He passed away in the wee hours of January 14, 2022.
My father-in-laws death took the wind of me. No one is ready to lose a parent. Ever. No matter how sick they are. Like, you want them to feel better but not if that means eternal sleep. We weren't ready. The death of a parent is painful enough on it's own. But I was already holding on by a thread. Now, I have to continue to hold it down while my husband grieves, comforts his mother and sister, plan final arrangements, help my mother-in-law navigate without her husband of almost 50 years. July 2022 would've been their 50th wedding anniversary.
I didn't completely lose my mind but my body was like "Sis! We're overwhelmed! we don't think we can carry this load much longer." I've gained almost 20 lbs since September 2021. My face is breaking out and it's not maskne. Then around January 16, 2022, I started sneezing. Sneezing like I'm running through a thick fog of pollen. Nose running. I'm having a full on spring time level pollen seasonal allergies in January. No fever. COVID negative. House isn't dusty. I'm wondering what in the world is wrong with me.
I'd been having sneeze attacks for two days when I went on my usual morning run listening to a guided run on the Nike Run Club app. That day, I just so happened to chose the "Mindful Miles" run with one of the narrators being 2016 Olympian Colleen Quigley. She's telling her story about obstacles she had to overcome to make it to the 2016 Olympics. We get to the part of the story at the Olympic trials where she realizes she made the Olympic team and she's describing it "The joy. The excitement. The tears." The word "tears" was when I lost it. A big ugly cry, while running. Loud. Obnoxious. Couldn't see where I was running. I just let it all hang out on that trail.
I mean, I had definitely cried about my father-in-law and some tears during the period of overwhelm but never like this. Never a big "boo hoo" cry like that one. And guess what happened. The sneezing stopped.
I was legit having an allergic reaction to stress. That's so wild. I needed a big cry. I needed to release the tension in a way that I don't normally allow myself to. The human body is amazing.
Take care of yourself, mentally, physically, and emotionally. Pay attention to your body. Allow yourself to rest. Find a healthy way to release the tension. Sometimes you just have to let out a healthy cry. Let the tears flow. Don't be ashamed. Then get back to business.